Ukulwela Izinwele

I MAKE MY DOLL, I REMAKE MYSELF

The What, the Why and the How of my art There are four things that my work has finally helped me understand,1. Everything is connected and there are no coincidences, everything is as it should be. 2.All the pains and struggles she (Mom) endured were necessary for her mental strength and for the development of ideas for the sake of her survival. 3. All She went through was transferred to me and that was necessary for the development of my survival skills. 4. All I went through in my childhood was necessary so that it may be channelled through my creativity in order for the works to be born and executed precisely as they have. I am because she fought through her struggles, transferred some of her creativity to me and shared some of her traumas indirectly. Continuously I sort through the melancholy that follows me since my childhood to get to the source. This helps me to find resolutions for my challenges in order to understand the connectivity in between. I allow myself to continuously search for the answers about the What, the Why and the How of my existence because that is exposed and confirmed through my work and visa versa. I am trying to understand the reasons for my actions especially those that are triggered by anger and those that trigger depression and self doubt. Why I find joy whenever I upcycle materials to make dolls, why I find peace fixing a doll whenever it falls apart. This process of doll reconstruction had to happen repeatedly so that a light within could finally glow. These dolls are made from bottle tops, wire and beads. They allow me to relive my childhood memories in order to identify and understand the source of pain. When that is done then healing begins. I reconcile with all the aspects of me whenever I use them to tell stories. I tell stories about my vision and dreams as a woman and about what I desire for my daughter, stories that empower and restores confidence to myself and others. Whenever we take care of others we restore within ourselves a sense of understanding that no one can install.